what's with thanksgiving?

I am thankful. I want to be thankful daily--moment by moment. How did you feel on Thanksgiving? Was it a peaceful day in whatever house you were in, with whomever you were with, were you relaxed and calm, did thankfulness come up? If so, Baruch Hashem! I was peaceful but not because I find the day lends to that, but because I have chosen to view it differently than I used to.

I never had much expectation for holidays. I think that's because too many people around me did and were so depressed particularly from Thanksgiving to Christmas that I resisted expectations, expectations that are never met. Or to be fair I should say often not met. I am sure there are families where the expectations are more reasonable, are met, and depression is avoided. There are some of those right? But largely I think people want something from these holidays that is unreasonable and impossible to achieve. And those of us without expectations assume the "destined to fail and only cause stress" role of frenzied expectation fairy peacemaker, constantly thinking "Is this person ok?" "Is that one depressed?" "Did he have too much to drink?" "Did I have a piece of her pie because if I didn't she'll be depressed?"

This morning a co-worker said she was exhausted when she got home Thursday night and she didn't know why. She didn't have much to cook, she didn't travel but a few minutes, she got home early enough...and then she admitted it was that she feels she has to make sure "everyone is ok..." That is exhausting!

Another friend said her son and family got to her house at 4:30 after eating at the in-laws at 2 and her son hardly said a word. The next day he apologized and said he was just tired. She realized it was too much, expecting them to go to both houses. She said she was selfish to feel that he had to come to her house. She said she won't do that again. Baruch Hashem! That's quite a revelation she had with all the emphasis that this culture and our families have put on these special days.

In some families, one parental side owns a holiday and are damned and determined they will have people over to eat their food at their table in their house or else...they own the day after all! What? Is that what celebrating being thankful is about? Come to my house or I will hold a grudge and make every holiday stressful...

My friend with the son and I started talking about the odd comfort people find in these holidays that really is just deception. But it's something they hang onto like it will save them...hmmmm...sounds a little like worship. The emphasis we have placed on these days, the completely unrealistic expectations are a by-product of our lack of reverence for G-d and lack of following His holidays...the true holidays that are holy and set apart because He created them.

I love the line: "Christmas is about the kids after all..." Really? Last time I checked, it was supposed to be about G-d. But it's not. Never was. As hard as you try to cram Him in there, and I used to try to do just that, He's not there...at least not in the way we expect Him to be.