just funny

A 6 year old foster son of good friends of ours had this to say to his foster mom (our rabbi's wife):

"Lisa, I know Santa doesn't come to this house, but if he did, you would save a lot of money."

matters of quirkiness & faith

My father died in 1995. He was 48, a mere 9 years older than I am right now. (Don't worry this is not a downer post, though I do have a mild fascination with death. ;) So I woke up at midnight last night after a short time of sleep and though I so wanted to sleep, my mind took over. And I was thinking about some nonsensical interjection I said in someone's office the previous afternoon. I can't recall what I said, but whatever it was there was a tiny logistic connective tendril. Tiny. I call it controlled ADD. Is that offensive to anyone? Unintended if so. I define someone with that condition as: when in conversation, he or she makes loose to very loose connections to whatever is being discussed, sometimes in song. But most always, eventually gets back to the original topic, albeit circuitously but usually humorously, at least for the loose connection maker.

The particular instance I was thinking of didn't amuse anyone but me so I returned to the original topic. Selfishly, often times, I am not thinking that my odd rambling, lyric embedding, or word inserting will entertain anyone but me. (I used to do it when I taught college comp courses all the time. I definitely needed to self-entertain during class.) So all this to say that at midnight I remembered that my father used to come out with things that made no sense in the conversation. Or at times, no one was saying a word and he'd say something that had no connection to anything recently said. I used to think, "how odd you are!" And so for the first time, last night, I realized where my little oddity comes from, at least one oddity anyway. And it made me laugh because what annoyed me in him is in me and I actually enjoy it! I thought that was great.

An even bigger thing used to annoy me: his faith. One thing I did know was: he was different. Watching my father die of cancer over the course of a month with such a peace, such an unwavering faith in G-d, is what caused me to really see what the heck was so different about him. And then after he died I began exploring what he was talking about: I tried to read the Bible and I remembered things he'd try to tell me about his faith, always beaming as he shared whatever it was. And then later I remembered that when he'd get home from work each night, often after 14 hours, he'd kneel in a spare room and pray. He'd close the door but I could see him through the small opening. I wouldn't be really looking; I would just catch a glimpse of him as I passed by. Obviously I made an unconscious mental note because at the time, I didn't think much of it. Until he was gone...I know cliche...but sadly some cliches are just that, sad, and sad that we persist in living them out...

So to make a slightly longer story wind down, watching his faith in action at such a difficult time and then remembering all these details that I unknowingly stored away, led me to find the peace, joy, and love that only G-d can offer us. (If that sounds cliche, so be it, at least it led to a good result.) All that's pretty big.

And now I've discovered this little thing too. Discoveries are good. So look around to the people that you've known for years or even a week and thank G-d for how He has used them to shape you in matters of faith and quirkiness. Oh and be aware: sometimes the shaping process doesn't always feel good, but it's the end result that matters.

A cool side note: I've since realized that during a lot of that kneeling, he was praying for me. You never really know who is praying for you. And you may be very surprised if you found out.

Jesus at the bar?

I drive up and down Warwick Avenue usually twice per day. Driving home Sunday night I saw a sign on Eddie's Bar that I absolutely loved...here it is>>

In the window on the right is one of those Sam Adams light-ups and on the main Eddie's sign: "JESUS SAVES." I did a double-take and lots of knee slaps. I thought it was great. Usually the letters spell what band is playing or what the day's beer special is...

So on the way to work Monday morning I had to pull over and take some pictures. Here's what was on the other side: HO HO HO WHERE DID THE SUMMER GO

Some people might say HO HO HO makes more sense on a bar sign: Santa's battle-cry along with a lament that summer is gone. Enter winter: the season of depression. And a bar often caters to the depressed, at least stereotypically in tv land. Makes some odd sense.

But then you see the flip-side...JESUS SAVES. I have no idea why they put either slogan on this sign or both at the same time. But though the dichotomy is quite interesting, what I find more interesting is that JESUS SAVES on this bar sign reminds me that G-d is EVERYWHERE, waiting to be seen, heard, spoken to, smiled at, bought a drink...loved. If He can be in the church, the synagogue, the football field, He can also be in a bar.

So if you're in Eddie's, will you look around, I mean really look and when you see Jesus, will you buy Him a drink? I will. Thanks Eddie's!

Learnin' from Bruce Almighty

Two days ago, I watched Bruce Almighty again. It's one of my favorite movies.

But what struck me most this last time I watched it was the ending. The homeless guy to the right is holding a sign that says something like "Amageddon outta here" and he slowly morphs into Morgan Freeman who is playing G-d. Such a simple scene, such a beautiful truth: we should see G-d in everyone we encounter. I know this but I have a hard time remembering...

So yesterday morning, I was talking to a guy at work that had been out with an injury for two weeks...and I wasn't thinking about Bruce Almighty but my mind did that morph thing and I knew that for that second, I was looking into the eyes of G-d and it rattled me. It's good to be rattled!

G-d speaks through the craziest things. Actually He really speaks through EVERYTHING, if we listen...

This is the funniest scene in the movie...

what's with thanksgiving?

I am thankful. I want to be thankful daily--moment by moment. How did you feel on Thanksgiving? Was it a peaceful day in whatever house you were in, with whomever you were with, were you relaxed and calm, did thankfulness come up? If so, Baruch Hashem! I was peaceful but not because I find the day lends to that, but because I have chosen to view it differently than I used to.

I never had much expectation for holidays. I think that's because too many people around me did and were so depressed particularly from Thanksgiving to Christmas that I resisted expectations, expectations that are never met. Or to be fair I should say often not met. I am sure there are families where the expectations are more reasonable, are met, and depression is avoided. There are some of those right? But largely I think people want something from these holidays that is unreasonable and impossible to achieve. And those of us without expectations assume the "destined to fail and only cause stress" role of frenzied expectation fairy peacemaker, constantly thinking "Is this person ok?" "Is that one depressed?" "Did he have too much to drink?" "Did I have a piece of her pie because if I didn't she'll be depressed?"

This morning a co-worker said she was exhausted when she got home Thursday night and she didn't know why. She didn't have much to cook, she didn't travel but a few minutes, she got home early enough...and then she admitted it was that she feels she has to make sure "everyone is ok..." That is exhausting!

Another friend said her son and family got to her house at 4:30 after eating at the in-laws at 2 and her son hardly said a word. The next day he apologized and said he was just tired. She realized it was too much, expecting them to go to both houses. She said she was selfish to feel that he had to come to her house. She said she won't do that again. Baruch Hashem! That's quite a revelation she had with all the emphasis that this culture and our families have put on these special days.

In some families, one parental side owns a holiday and are damned and determined they will have people over to eat their food at their table in their house or else...they own the day after all! What? Is that what celebrating being thankful is about? Come to my house or I will hold a grudge and make every holiday stressful...

My friend with the son and I started talking about the odd comfort people find in these holidays that really is just deception. But it's something they hang onto like it will save them...hmmmm...sounds a little like worship. The emphasis we have placed on these days, the completely unrealistic expectations are a by-product of our lack of reverence for G-d and lack of following His holidays...the true holidays that are holy and set apart because He created them.

I love the line: "Christmas is about the kids after all..." Really? Last time I checked, it was supposed to be about G-d. But it's not. Never was. As hard as you try to cram Him in there, and I used to try to do just that, He's not there...at least not in the way we expect Him to be.